A stepparent can never take the place of a child's birth parent. Once we realize our role, it makes it easier. For me, my role is her father's wife who will nurture and take care of her to the best of my capabilities.

Your stepchild must learn that the stepparent has authority.

Stepfamilies have to be a cooperative effort. This means that more than the stepparent and child have to be involved. The natural, custodial parent is a vital link.

Plan a special day or evening to spend the entire time together, just stepparent and stepchild.

Laugh and have fun!

Having never given birth to my own children, my stepchildren are real blessings to me. Don't forget to tell them.

Let them know that you love them unconditionally – even if they receive a grade you are not pleased with.

Don't always be on guard waiting for the stepchild to disobey. Look for the good traits and always compliment them.

Give your stepchild the liberty to phone their parent as much as they like.

Hugs are important.  They are a sign to your step-child that they are accepted and loved.

Family table time is so vital. Being a new parent of a teenager, I've forgotten how important "table time" is. Sitting around the table sharing stories brings the family closer. Don't forget to invite friends and other family members to join you.

Speak in a pleasant tone to your children. Harshness hurts the spirit. We sure can speak nice to strangers, why not our children?  Bite your tongue and think before you speak. Once those words come out, we can't take them back.

Let your stepchild know what your expectations for schoolwork, chores and behavior. Let them know there are consequences.

Be humble and admit your mistakes and failures to your step-child.

Children go through a mourning period during the loss of a parent. Those of us who are step-parents would do well to allow time for the grief process to heal. Sometimes the loss never heals completely, but we must always respect the child who experiences it.

As I began to be inquisitive about the type of music my step-daughter was listening to I found out some of the lyrics were very evil. I confronted my new daughter and explained, because I want the best for her, why these lyrics are not good and now she knows how I feel about this issue. She confessed that she knew that they were not nice and that she would get rid of them. I told her that if she gave them to me, I will buy them back from her so she can purchase music that is edifying to the mind and spirit. And she did!