Nothing - not even the nasty comment of a meddling aunt - would keep Roy from claiming his daughter.
When
Roy married his wife, she had a young daughter from a previous
marriage. Roy adopted her as his own, and then, in what seemed like no
time, the couple had five more children. This oldest daughter, as you
might expect, felt a little bit like an outsider at times, and it
didn't help that some members of the extended family kept bringing up
the fact that she wasn't Roy's daughter.
One aunt seemed
especially obsessed with letting everybody know what was what. One
evening, the family was hosting a small gathering of family and
friends. As Roy was introducing his daughter - who was thirteen at the
time - the aunt stepped forward and said, "Well, she isn't actually his
daughter; she is from another relationship."
I can't explain
this aunt's actions, but I sure admire Roy's response. He said
adamantly, "No, she's my daughter. And she's an important member of our
family." That was followed by a tense silence, except for the daughter
- she was beaming. She had been claimed clearly and publicly.
Today,
as this woman looks back on those events, she points to that incident
as a turning point in her life. It brought security and confidence to
her as she faced some difficult challenges in the following years. She
says that her father's commitment to claim her as his own has had an
almost supernatural effect on her life.
All that from Roy's
simple act of claiming her as his daughter. This girl was adopted, so
she may have had a somewhat complicated reason for needing to hear that
from her father, but I believe all children need to hear this
regularly. When we affirm and claim our children - through spoken
words, written words, actions, and prayers - we're giving them a
confidence and connection that will help them as they mature. We give
them belonging, acceptance, and pride. At the same time, we remind
ourselves of our own responsibility and commitment to love them, serve
them, and sacrifice for them.
So, fathers, claim your children
often. Even if they're adopted, stepchildren, grandchildren, or
children that you're mentoring. Let them and the world hear you stake
that claim.
