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View Article Marriage > General Marriage
10 Things to do to Help Your Marriage Feel Less Stressed "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." - The Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr Stress is fingered for a lot of health issues in America, among them heart disease, depression, hair loss, obesity, sexual dysfunction, ulcers and hypertension. Possibly its biggest negative impact, though, is felt in marriages where stress can cause interpersonal tension and dysfunctional relationships. But there is good news! A lot of the stress we experience in marriage is avoidable - if only we understand what's going on. Here are 10 things we can do to reduce the amount of stress in marriage: 1. Always put your spouse first: This is a HUGE principle and key to reducing relationship stress. Ideally, husband and wife both put the other first. But the only aspect you can control is you. 2. Have fun together: Movies, walks, picnics, games, trips etc. Not just fun but hilarity. Laughing together is great relationship medicine. 3. Build "together time" into your schedule: Stop awarding "Time with your spouse" the status of leftovers! Your relationship is more important than any other priority on any kind of schedule. If that means scrawling "Relax together" on the calendar in indelible marker, then so be it! 4. Don't sweat the small stuff: When you feel stress coming on, ask this question, "Is this a moral issue?" If not – and nine times out of ten the issue in question is not, then let it go. Talk together about your priorities, constantly. Remind yourselves what really counts. Simplify your lifestyle. Celebrate what you have. 5. Give back, and do it together: Work at the soup kitchen; volunteer with a faith-based community; hook up with a group that helps the less fortunate or restores the environment. Throw yourselves into charitable causes, together, and watch things fall into perspective. 6. Communicate clearly and respectfully: Misunderstandings are responsible for a lot of tension. Always keep your spouse in the loop and always communicate with love and good manners. 7. Tell the truth: The aphorism goes like this – when you tell the truth you don't have to remember what you said the last time. People who don't keep secrets experience less stress in relationships. 8. Hold hands; hug; make out! Physical contact is a proven stress reliever. Squeeze onto the same chair to watch TV – just hang all over one-another. Reach out and take your spouse's hand while walking, driving, or at an event. Be deliberate about demonstrating affection via physical contact. 9. Play to your strengths – and hers: Effective teachers use students' strengths to overcome weakness – it simply works better than focusing on the negative. Pay attention to your spouse's strengths - build up, affirm, encourage. Criticism always leads to more stress. 10.Live within your means: Money problems are the leading cause of stress in American marriages. Work this one out. Take preventative measures. Remember #4 (Don't sweat the small stuff)? It turns out most of the stuff we get into debt over is not worth the stress. © 2010 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks. |
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